Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
