Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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