Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
