i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
