you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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