Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
