Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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