They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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