i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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