the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
