forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
