please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
