If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
