Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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