I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
