We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
