I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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