Can i not drive my cunt home
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
