did you get engaged???
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
