i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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