I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
She made me pour olive oil on her.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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