my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When did angry sex become our thing?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
