i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
