my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
