He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
