i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
