Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
