Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
