I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
