Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
