i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How external is "for external use only"?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
did you just send me my own nude
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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