OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
