I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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