i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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