Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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