How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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