naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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