I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
