He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
