the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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