Your face is a jimmy john
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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