the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
