This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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