what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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