I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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