shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
