I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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