Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
