You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
