Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
