he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I booty called her while she was in labor.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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