Don't you send me to vm
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
