I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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