Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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