I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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