dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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